In a surprising twist of events, Nicholas 'Nick-knack-Paddy-whack' Roske, notorious Californian and overly ambitious home-invader, has made an unexpected commitment to the truth; he's ready to play 'Guilty' in the courtroom drama of his lifetime! Seems like our pal got tired of the 'Not Guilty' role following his cinematic arrest. Was it the bad script or just the fear of being typecast? Who knows?

Important Tip boys and girls - if you're planning a unsolicited visit to a clear cut, yet understated, Supreme Court Justice's abode, be subtle! Mr. Roske, however, was found outside Kavanaugh's humble Maryland retreat, armed with reject props from a bad action flick - a gun, knife and even 'burglary tools'. It's almost like he had no idea subtle existed or he was auditioning for an over-the-top part in an unreleased 'Home Alone'.

Hailing from Simi Valley, young Nicholas, just a slip of a lad at 26, saw his pop star dreams crash when the reality of a potential 20-year solo in the sequel 'Federal Prison High' dawned on him. I bet that's a gig even The Donald wouldn't trade his best toupee for! I mean, we've heard of the school of hard knocks, but a conservatory of concrete cells? Yikes!

To wrap up, on June 8th, our overachieving house guest Nicholas, probably driven by a serious case of FOMO on legal proceedings, has decided to secure an early booking at his 'Concrete Castle' soiree in Maryland. Here's hoping he at least uses his newfound 'guilty' status to get in some good toilet humor at his hearing because, let's face it, the only way he's passing this is like a bad case of diarrhea!